Apparently the Bible is too liberal… so the same people who brought us Conservapedia (the right-wing conservative version of Wikipedia, complete with made-up facts) are going to rework the Bible to make it fit into their worldview.
You just can’t make this stuff up.
Among their conservative principles for Bible translation:
Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
Their full free-market meaning? Yeah, Jesus was totally thinking about laissez-faire and the invisible hand of Adam Smith’s free market when He told the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give it to the poor. And the whole parable about the farmer casting his seed over the field? Clearly, Jesus is talking there about optimizing crop yields and exploiting laborers in order to maximize agricultural profits.
Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
(For the record, here’s the story in question.)
Yeah, because we wouldn’t want sentiments like “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” to complicate our worldview. We wouldn’t want to contemplate whether or not we’re acting hypocritically before we condemn others.
Of course, given the spotty record of right-wing religious figures who demagogue about family values, maybe they are better off excising that passage…
And finally, the coup de grace…
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”
Why not go the whole way and replace “Lord” with an inarticulate guttural grunt, a thumbs-up, or a “guy nod”? God doesn’t want those boring liberal words mucking up His pristine Bible. Conservative God doesn’t use words, He uses action… so next time you’re in church and they ask you to read a passage aloud, instead of all that boring text with its “high word-to-substance ratio” you should just punch the guy next to you in the jaw. That’s what Conservative Action God wants.
[...] (Cross-posted at the Matthew 25 Network.) [...]
Thanks for wasting my time !!! Certainly you have better things to do !!!
You’re quite welcome. I agree that the people involved in this project do have better things to do than change the Bible to suit their political purposes.
I wasn’t talking about people involved in this project…I meant you…There are alot of people talking the talk …..blah blah blah. Quite a large ego to think you have to be heard.
“Conservatism” wants its own version of the Bible because it is basically at odds with much of the teachings and Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. “Conservatism’, as it has come to exist in current America, does not truly represent Jesus, who is the unique revelation of God to humanity. It would be detrimental to the spread and application of the true Gospel to have a ‘conservatively biased’ translation of the Bible touted around as the real ‘truth’. This shows that at least some conservatives don’t really believe their own claims of Bible infallability. They need to re-shape the Bible to fit their biased beliefs? – what hypocrisy indeed. I guess they will have to take out scriptures like Mt. 7:22-23 as well, so Jesus wont be able to apply it to them someday. Or maybe better yet, they will take out scriptures saying Jesus died for everyone’s sins (like IJn.2:2) and replace it with Him only dying for sins of those who subscibe to ‘conservative’ beliefs, or maybe even chang Jn. 3:16 to read that God only loves some of the people in the world – those that think like them. This shows that for these people, it is not really about Jesus and what he is, has done/is doing, and what he wants us to do – it is about being “conservative”. They are replacing true Christianity with their modern worldly ‘conservatism’. Well, I guess they will have to take out Rev.22:18-19 as well. Lord Jesus, please open their minds and hearts to your spirit of love and understanding. Amen.
I totally agree with you. If they want Jesus to conform to what passes for conservatism in the contemporary environment (which I would argue is more akin to authoritarianism than to the libertarian tradition on which the conservative movement used to be based), they have to completely ignore who Jesus is.
They have to look past His compassion on the poor and oppressed, and His corresponding anger and wrath against those who hoarded wealth and oppressed them, because that might challenge their support of a system that encourages the hoarding of wealth and oppression of the poor.
They have to look past His unwillingness to condemn the adulteress and His radical prophetic call to those who would kill her to look into their own hearts and see their own sinfulness, because that might call them out on the hypocrisy of their devotion to so-called “family values.”
They have to look past His willingness to forgive and show mercy even on those who were torturing, mocking, mutilating, and killing Him, because that doesn’t fit with their image of more violence as being the solution for violence.
Your point – that these authors’ conservatism has completely trumped their desire to see and understand Jesus Christ for who He actually is – should be shouted from the rooftops. Thanks for your comment.
And to really make the New Testament truly conservative by todays standards, they may have to re-do a lot of what Jesus said and did. The pharisees were the conservatives of Jesus’ day, not Jesus. Jesus may come across as too ‘liberal’ for them in the Bible that has been handed down to us. One thing that is sure in this “conservaversion” – it is not inspired by the Holy Spirit. Both our understanding of God and our ‘world view’ of things should be understood and viewed through the lens of Jesus. Even the relevance of all of the bible to our individual lives should be made through the lens of Jesus (Jn.5:39-40) – Jesus is the word of and the unique revelation of and the atonement of God to humanity. He was the human parable of the God who is divine love and redeeming grace. The mission of Jesus was/is to save the world, not condemn it. He came to serve and save and liberate and is coming back to finally cleanse enslaving ‘babylon’ out of this world – that is his judgment and justice – that is making things anew. Jesus came to seek and save the lost, liberate the captives, and relieve the oppressed and outcasts, as well as dispose of the things that oppress and mislead us. Jesus didn’t live, suffer, die and rise again for all of humanity only to see 90+% of humanity lost. The image of God, which applies to all people, means we were made to have communion with God – through Jesus. His commandments were to believe and trust in him and show love to others. Jesus has and is reconciling all things to himself. He wants us to live as salt and light to the world – to actually love the world into his kingdom. An overriding message of Jesus is to show love to all people, even those you disagree with or disagree with you. In the gospel accounts, Jesus chided the hypocritical religious leaders of his day (the only group he chided) for their love of and pride in their own power and their lack of important attributes in dealing with people – justice, mercy and humility – maybe these are three pillars or components of which love is composed. I do not believe Jesus was a conservative (by todays conservative standard). And misguided people cannot make Him to be such by re-doing his written word to suit their own agenda. Again, I pray that God’s spirit will convict and renew their minds to focus on the central core of the Bible, of the Gospel, of Gods message to humaity – Jesus loves you and by his work has saved you and wants us all to come enjoy his love and share it with all others and live your whole live in a manner worthy of such.
Jesus chided the hypocritical religious leaders of his day (the only group he chided) for their love of and pride in their own power and their lack of important attributes in dealing with people
That’s an important point.
Jesus wasn’t afraid to get angry and wasn’t afraid to call people out. He certainly wasn’t the nice-guy He’s portrayed as by the powerful and wealthy, whose interest is in ensuring that the poor and downtrodden remain so. He stood up, got angry, kicked a little butt, and wasn’t afraid to call out evil where he saw it.
But look at who he directs his ire at. It’s always – always – the rich, the powerful, the oppressors, the people who want to impose their religious values on others, the people who exploit the authentic religious fervor of the poor for their own profit or their own power.
Who fits that bill today? Who would Jesus be pronouncing woe on if He were preaching in Washington DC in 2009 instead of in Jerusalem in the first century of the common era? Who’s engaged in oppression, in exploitation, in demanding that everyone follow their religion’s rules? No, there’s no doubt in my mind that if Jesus were standing on a street corner here in Washington, he’d be speaking against the plutocratic party in Washington, against the greedy rich and their desire to hoard their wealth rather than to give it away freely, against the Christian Right who prop up an oppressive system and exploit the authentic religiosity of the people in His name.
Thanks for your comment.
I am a conservative, and I don’t understand any of this. I love Jesus Christ – everything about Him and His work. I don’t know any of my conservative Christian friends who want to adulterate the Bible. Nor do I know any who “prop up an oppressive system and exploit the authentic religiosity of the people in His name.”
Me and my Christian conservative friends loathe the government as it is today, loathe the greedy rich who think giving $100 a year is big doins – a millionaire liberal relative of mine, as a matter of fact!
Whatever causes you to think that true conservative believers want to change the Bible to fit anything or don’t agree with Jesus Christ, His Words, His Ways, His will, don’t know any true conservative Christians!
I didn’t say that this group was in any way representative of conservative Christians… and thus far, many of the reactions I’ve seen from conservative Christians have been quite critical of this project. Still, it does represent a prevailing mindset of many on the far right that conservative ideology trumps even the religion they purportedly belong to.
I’d also argue that many conservative Christians functionally do just what these people are literally doing, in making religion all about wrath and hate rather than mercy and love. The things Jesus says about the relationship between the oppressed and the oppressor, between the poor and the rich, about war and wealth and love and hate, seem to me to be completely incompatible with the conservative Christian mindset, particularly as it’s expressed politically in unwavering and unquestioning support of the Republican Party and its laissez-faire free market principles and desire to enforce one religion’s narrow statutes on all people.
Those are the people “propping up an oppressive system” – unrestrained and globalized consumer capitalism and corporate welfare, which oppresses people here in the US and, even more so, people in other nations. Those are the people “exploiting the authentic religiosity of the people,” by convincing the conservative Christians who are their flock that the Bible somehow supports the unrestrained free market, a belligerent foreign policy, and an economic system that does nothing but perpetuate and deepen poverty and wealth inequality.
I would really like to know how many true Christians who are conservative in their politics you know personally, Mr. Gilmore? People who love Jesus Christ do not make religion about wrath and hate rather than mercy and love. What I do know is that many people who will not bow the knee and give their lives to Christ use those kinds of excuses for not doing so. If you know the Word of God and are in a vibrant relationship with its Inspirer, you understand that the same God who sent His Son out of love to redeem lost mankind also holds His children to a very high standard of morality and values. He also hates sin because He is holy, and it cost Him His Son. If you read the Bible you will see that God is not some namby-pamby acceptor of all things human, nor does He excuse us from seeking His kingdom and living righteously.
It might also interest you to know that most of the charitable giving and service that happens around the world comes from the wallets of Christians.
Not rich Christians, but those who give because they understand God’s heart and desire for us to make a difference in our world.
Apart from that, your view of our nation as a belligerent foreign power and an economic system that does nothing but perpetuate and deepen poverty and wealth inequality, tells me that you don’t know your history very well. We have been supporting the needy of the world for a very long time, and we have given our best and brightest in war after war to their betterment and our credit. Have you ever lived overseas? Have you ever really looked at how the rest of the world lives? It might not hurt you to get on your knees and express gratitude to the God who allowed you to be born in this country rather than in India or Africa or any one of many other countries where the people really underestand poverty and wealth inequality!
Why is my comment awaiting moderation?
If you haven’t registered or have registered but haven’t commented before, we hold your comments for moderation. Believe me, as the person who’s doing most of the moderating, it really does keep the trolls and spammers away.
Is there a liberal on the planet who can quote Bible verses in context? BTW, Jesus never once said “government” should help the poor, feed the poor, educate the poor, or provide abortions for the poor. BTW, ever read the verses that say “do not steal”? That’s how government “helps” the poor. They STEAL it. Have a blessed day!
Otto, you are “spot on”, as they say. WE (Christians) are supposed to be caring for those who truly needy. However, in our entitled society, it seems that anyone who doesn’t have a lot more than they need feel they are entitled to whatever the government will offer them. Our society is needy, alright, but what it needs is to repent, turn to Jesus Christ, receive forgiveness for its corporate as well as its individual sins, be transformed mentally and emotionally, learn how to serve one another, and walk in the joy of the Lord!
I’m not understanding where the anger expressed in some of the posts is coming from. I’ve been a Christian all of my life and have never heard of anyone wanting to change the Bible to suit his/her purposes. I also have a problem with people calling themselves Christians but not adhering to Christian principles. Sharon, you are correct. If you have Christ and God in your life, you are compelled to be your brother’s keeper, and it is not looked upon, or thought of as, an unbearable burden.
This is a somewhat long reply in light of some of the previous comments of Otto and Sharon.
“Is there a liberal on the planet who can quote Bible verses in context?…”.
Yes there are such on the planet. I think Jesus may have been one of them. Jesus quoted scripture in context and meaning. Satan quoted scripture out of context and out of meaning. The Pharisees misused scripture as well, according to Jesus. Study the Gospels and their historical context and you just might find that the Pharisees were ‘conservatives’ of their day and Jesus was a ‘liberal’ of his day. All through the sermon on the mount, Jesus repeats over and over: “…you have heard it said…but I tell you…”. Jesus brought a revolutionary change to the established religion of the day. Jesus came to make God personal and to make love personal – something more than just adherence to an outward set of ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’. What comes out of a person should and does reflect what is in the heart and intent of that person. Jesus came to open up God’s salvation to all people. He died for all sins of all people and for the reconciliation of all people. What Jesus brought, true Christianity, is not really ‘religion’. ‘Religion’ is about what a person or group can do (or refrain from doing) to earn favor or life or benefits (or avoid punishment) for themselves from some supreme being or force (basis of all of mankind’s religions). True Christianity is about what God, through revelation of Jesus, has done for us – and what that in turn calls us to do for others. Jesus was generous (original meaning of liberal), inclusive (called and accepted people from the demeaned outcasts of society), and a redeemer/defender of the less fortunate in society (healed and fed all those who came to him without justification or condemnation). In Jesus’ parable of the vineyard workers, they all got the exact same fair reward for working one hour, half day or all day. Jesus strongly encouraged us to be our brother’s keeper, in the sense of helping and caring for others; but sternly warned us not to be our brother’s judge, in the sense of condemning or ostracizing others. A person’s relationship with God is between that person and God, not between that person and other people. Jesus told the Pharisees that in vain they searched their knowledge of scripture, thinking they found life in that. They refused to come to Jesus and accept him and his teachings – that is what gives life. Jesus is the Word of God. All scripture we quote and use and live must come through the lens of Jesus, not through a lens of ‘conservative’ or ‘liberal’ or any other human mindset. Jesus said the Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth. The Holy Spirit works with our human spirit (our God given ability to reason) to better understand God’s will and plan for us – although in this life we will never perfectly understand nor perfectly adhere. That is where God’s grace comes to our rescue.
“BTW, Jesus never once said “government” should help the poor, feed the poor, educate the poor, or provide abortions for the poor.”
No, Jesus never used the word ‘government’ when talking about the poor. But there is plenty in the Bible (as well as Christian/church tradition and teaching and understanding) on this subject to consider. First lets look at the Old Testament system, even though it has passed away. Tithes instituted by the theocratic government were used (one use) to help the poor and all the people were commanded by the theocratic government to also help the poor (such as gleaning, etc.) as they were able. In fact, there is more in the Bible about helping the needy (both Old and New Testament) than almost any other subject in the Bible. God constantly chided people in the Old Testament for oppressing or not helping the needy and poor. Second lets look at the New Testament. Jesus certainly went out of his way to help those in need that he came across or who came to him for help – whether food or healthcare or knowledge (education in a sense). He provided it freely to all who would accept. Jesus taught, through his sermons and parables and conversations with others, that we are to freely and liberally show/share mercy and kindness to/with others – in our actions, our words and even our physical possessions. Paul admonished his readers to be ‘liberal’ givers and to look after the needs of others. James (probably brother of Jesus and probably first book actually written in New Testament) emphatically states that Christian faith without works, including giving assistance to the needy and poor as you are able, is a dead faith. Thirdly, lets look at the USA. From what I have seen, most who would identify themselves as ‘conservative’ Christians believe that the USA is a ‘Christian’ country in the sense that most of its people are Christian and the government was founded on and should be based on Christian principles. Based on all of scripture, there is no more Christian principle than one of helping the needy and poor (see Mt. 25 for example). The US constitution calls for the government to provide for the general welfare and common good. If you believe this is a government based on Christian principles, why would you not believe it should help the poor and needy? If it is the right and Christian thing for individuals to help the poor and needy, why is it not even more a right thing for the organized collective function of elected government (which can do far more, with more efficiency, with the combined resources than individuals alone could do) to do the same? If Jesus is our king, and Jesus helped the poor and taught us to help the poor and inspired the writers of the rest of the New Testament to encourage us to help the poor, and Jesus is coming back to establish his kingdom in its fullest sense on this earth – which has to be based on his principles of taking care of the poor – how can it be wrong for human governments to try to help the poor, especially in ways to help bring them out of their situations such as with education, etc.? Most ‘conservative’ Christians would probably view themselves as ‘pro-life’. Wouldn’t it make sense that pro-life would be ‘pro-healthcare’, be ‘pro-education’ and be ‘pro-eliminate poverty’ – which is the greatest deterrent to quality and length of human life in our society? So far as government providing abortions for the poor – no legislation is calling for that, so I don’t think you don’t need to worry about that. Jesus never mentioned the subject of abortion, nor is it addressed in the New Testament. Even in the Old Testament, it is not addressed, except in accidental form. If someone struck a pregnant woman and caused a miscarriage (abortion), it was not a manslaughter offense, but only carried a fine. If the act had caused accidental death to the mother, it would have been a manslaughter offense and the perpetrator would have to flee to a city of refuge until the end of the term of the high priest. I am not trying to advocate or support abortion here, I am pointing out that it isn’t a subject in scripture, though it is known there were practices of causing intentional miscarriages (abortions) even back in ancient times, and pointing out the comparison on how the law viewed before birth and after birth life differently.
“BTW, ever read the verses that say “do not steal”? That’s how government “helps” the poor. They STEAL it.”
Yes, the seventh of the ‘ten’ commandments – one of only 3 not carrying the death penalty under the Old Testament. Ever read the Old Testament use of tithes? They were basically equivalent to taxes (instituted by the theocratic government God put in place) and were used to support the widows and orphans as well as the Levites/priests, who had no other source of sustenance. OK, the Old Testament has passed away – we can still use it as an example and a source of principles and inspiration, even though not as doctrine. In the New Testament, Jesus, when asked about paying taxes said: “…give to Caesar (referring to human government at that time) what is Caesar’s and give to God what is God’s”. Paul told the Christians at Rome that governments were allowed to be instituted by God for the overall common good and social order of the people. We are blessed in this country to actually have a voice in our government – in its policies and laws/regulations and in its actual human make-up. Let us take Paul’s admonition and pray for the leaders.
“Me and my Christian conservative friends loathe the government as it is today, loathe the greedy rich who think giving $100 a year is big doins…”
Best response is words of Jesus – “…they will know you are my disciples because of your love for one another.” Put love into action rather than loathing. What kind of government would you love rather than loathe? What kind of government do you think Jesus will institute when he returns to the earth? Think about exactly when you began to loathe the government as it is and why so. Selfishness and greed are sins at the core of many of our problems in the world today (yesterday as well). Think about that in terms of exactly what you would want in a government. Would you say to Jesus’ government: “keep your hands off my healthcare” and “using my taxes to help the needy is stealing from me”? Human governments are imperfect and can be oppressive (theocratic ones are the most imperfect and most oppressive) – but we should strive to support the good in government as well as trying to expunge the bad from it.
bruce – thank you for a well thought out and well put response
I say “amen” to all your points!
thanks Bob! thanks be to Jesus for his inspiration!
Grrr. I hate how using “big, fancy words” is thrown up as a liberal/lefty character flaw. What’s wrong with being able to understand and speak the English language correctly? And darn it, why would someone judge my Christianity by whether I say “Lord” or “Lord God” or “Big Guy?”
P.S. Can I get a Conservative Action God action figure?