Prior to embarking on my birthday adventure, I read my morning meditation from the book of Exodus, and by chance, I was up to the point in the narrative in which Moses was told to prepare the Hebrew people to meet their God by bathing themselves and abstaining from sex. I believe it was an especially suitable text as part of my plans for my birthday celebration was to visit the Museum of Sex located in lower Manhattan. A more timid soul would have believed this was a sign from God to avoid such a den of iniquity but like Balaam I rode on to my destination via New Jersey transit mindful not to whip any donkeys.
The Museum of Sex at the time of my visit had two floors of display. The first floor provided examples of animal sexuality which generally debunked generally held ideas of the heterosexual, patriarchal nature of the animal world. Also on the first floor were different samples of the use of sexual intercourse or lack thereof over the course of American history by the media with examples such as the Sinclair Institute. The first portion of the second floor addressed issues of sexual paraphernalia, self-pleasuring/ masturbation and the changes in perception over time. The final section mainly addressed sex-workers in adult entertainment/ pornography industry. (It is an adult museum)
Why did I go to the museum? Part of the reason is that I like to shock people and sadly human sexuality still remains taboo especially in Christian circles. How could I explain my visit to Museum of Sex to a church to which I might be called in the future as I can no longer hide behind the guise of my visit being a requirement for seminary? I went on a journey of reconciliation and the best kind starts with the individual. Sexuality is one of the MANY areas within the Christian worldview that cries out for reconciliation. From the time of Moses to the present, sexuality and sexual expressions have been viewed as things that defile and make the person untouchable by even God.
As a result of the depreciation of sexuality our approach to sexual ethics for a long time has been the antithesis of the Nike slogan “just don’t do it.” But from the pulpit to the pews our lives have belied our message pedophile-priests and parishioners, date rapes on seminary campuses, sexual addictions, adultery and incest. And as a “Christian country” we support a billion dollar pornography industry, and we are avid participants in sex -slave trade and sex tourism. And some who really abstain in truth do it for reasons that reveal a hate for the physical- the sexual. Virginity, especially in case of women, has been held as a mark of superiority rendering them good enough to wed. Others refuse to participate in loving relationships because of fear of rejection for less than ideal body parts or unrealistic expectations of others.
Is sexual reconciliation possible within the individual or the church? The paradigm of clean and unclean sexuality and the hate of the physical body are both nullified in the incarnation of Jesus. If we accept that God became human, lived in the body of a woman, entered the world through her birthing canal and was clothed in male flesh the idea that there is something intrinsically wrong with the “material” aspect of humanity is quickly debunked. Second while Jesus did not address the issue of sex his treatment of those identified as unclean clearly indicated that the things viewed by humans as unclean such as leprosy, woman with issue of blood were not the things that the God-man viewed as breaches in God- human relationships. The incarnation and ministry of Jesus reiterates the value of the materiality of humanity. The incarnation reveals that sexuality, a naturally occurring element of humanity, is not inherently wrong.
Is there room for a Christian sexual ethic?
There are those within the church that advocate the seventies “free love, free sex” position but are quickly dismissed because of the lack of theological basis and short sightedness of their position. Could we really promote an anything goes sexual ethic -how about pedophilia or incest? A Christian sexual ethic is not a private sphere but should be an aspect of one’s general Christian ethic which is generally premised on the incarnation, life, ministry, death and resurrection of Jesus. One’s sexual praxis should be predicated on one’s publicly attested theological view of God and curtailed by love for self and the other. For example my belief in a God who loves humanity as we are results in shift from paradigms of clean and unclean sexuality to concepts of health/life-giving and unhealthy/ death-dealing, hence intercourse with a child is wrong because children like caterpillars are not “mature” enough to mate.
And my personal word to my future congregants? Sexual expression is akin to mango season in my country of origin. Prior to its season (time of harvest) mangoes might look fit to eat but if you bite in too early the mango sap will burn your mouth and the flesh will be too sour to enjoy. Though skilful cooks can use the green mangoes to make curries and stews the distinct taste of the mango will be lost and seeds of the mango will not bear fruit… but if you wait till mango season, as one song records at that time you won’t have to coax the mango off the tree it will “ripe and drop.” The mango wanting only to exercise its potential to give life does everything to achieve its goal. The once almost impenetrable skin will give way to the advances of your teeth revealing succulent syrupy flesh rich with nectar; a mutually beneficial offering pleasing to your taste and an opportunity to uncover the mangoes potential to give life- its seed. And when its “mango time” even coffee one of Jamaica’s most lauded exports is regulated to the background— in service of mango monogamy.
Renegade – “running and running away but you can’t run away from yourself”
I think that more and more Christians are beginning to realize that their hesitance to address sexual ethics in any terms other than “thou shalt not” is based largely on set of cultural hangups and not Biblical exegesis.
We certainly have plenty of good negative principles set up in Scripture. But inside that framework Christians also need to reach the place where they can eagerly say “But we SHALL enjoy our marriage bed to the fullest extent possible!” For this is good and pleasing unto the Lord…
Cultural hang -up vs biblical exegesis-
1. Most of my pieces start with the bible because it is still the normative document of Christianity. I don’t have to watch television or read materials that I think is inappropriate but I still read the Bible. I personally like the biblical injunction that judgment should start in house before we go out picking specks out of the eyes of others. Also, it is a bit difficult to separate religion from culture. Culture is “the way of life of a people” and in America we still self-identify as a Christian nation when it suits us.
2. Thou shall or thou shall not is insufficient when there is severe brokenness. It becomes necessary to address underline issues such as the prevalence of sexual violence ( incest, rape, ) in our society, the unhealthy dis-satisfication with self that is essential to hyper-capitalism. Sexuality is more than an act of copulation and the injunction of “we shall enjoy our marriage bed to fullest extent possible “ for this is good and pleasing unto the Lord” seems limiting in light of the fact that I was born a sexual being. I need help with all the years before I get married and so biblical exegesis helps me to transform my mind -deal with my sexuality. I need space to formulate a theology of sexuality and one liners don’t work for me because my brain keeps asking why.
3. So far in my theological development sex with another human being is sacramental ( in the reformed sense of the word- a sign/ symbol of something, something spiritual , an occasion for spiritual and emotional nourishment). A sacrament I share within a lifelong partnership.